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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Bean Day

As always - The Cast of Characters

Me (The Daddy)

The Bean: Age 8!
The Butterfly: Age 6
The Darling Wife


OK - I'm back.  Sorry for the delay, holidays and all.


8 years ago on Christmas Day, the DW and I had agreed to host Christmas dinner.  This was no small undertaking for us, considering that both sides of our family along with aunts, uncles, and sundry friends would be in attendance.


And the fact our house could probably qualify for Government Aid as a National Disaster Area.



But somehow, we had the house and the cookin' ready with a couple of hours to spare.


So, we decided to have a talk.


Did I mention that the DW was 7 months pregnant at the time?


Would she go back to work after The Bean was born?  Would I try and get a job that didn't send me all over the world for extended periods?  Could we even afford a baby?


These questions were left, predicatively, unanswered.  Guests arrived.  Pleasantries exchanged.  Meals served.


The DW was feeling sick.  Probably something I cooked.


She went to lie down.


Did I mention that the DW was 7 months pregnant at the time?


She didn't just lie down, of course.  She went into labor.  On Christmas Night.


An emergency C-Section was performed on the next day and the Bean came into the world at a stark 3 lbs.  She had ten fingers and ten toes and was already perfecting the glare that only a little girl with the world's worst birthday could have.








Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Princess Paparazzi

As always - The Cast of Characters

Me (The Daddy)

The Bean: Age 7
The Butterfly: Age 6
The Darling Wife



Apparently, you can get Disney Princess autographs.


The DW and I took The Bean and The Butterfly to Disney this Thanksgiving, eschewing extended family responsibilities.  


The Bean and The Butterfly loved it.  Particularly Epcot.  


You can drink beers from around the world at Epcot.  I did nothing to discourage their fondness of what was once considered the dullest of the theme park.


The Disney princesses would stand and people with their excited daughters would wait patiently in interminable lines for their turn to gather hugs and photo ops.


Pretty straight forward, right?


Wrong.  The princesses worked a schedule with specific, hard-lined cut off points.  You could wait patiently in the aforementioned interminable line, only to be cut off seconds before the hugs and photo ops could take place.


Ouch.  


So what is a Superdad to do?


Wait 15 minutes in a line to see Sleeping Beauty, of course.  


Here's the kicker, though.  I was waiting in a line without a Princess.


She'd be right out, I was assured.  So I waited in a line for no Princess at all.  


For Sleeping Beauty, no less.  

And she hated me.



But The Bean and The Butterfly got to see their Princess, and the DW brought me a beer from France.


Sometimes I love being Superdad.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Sleeping Beauty Woke Up on the Wrong Side of Bed

As always - The Cast of Characters

Me (The Daddy)

The Bean: Age 7
The Butterfly: Age 6
The Darling Wife





The DW and I took The Bean and The Butterfly to Disney this Thanksgiving.  The girls, of course, had a blast.  They met all of their favorite characters had them sign their autograph books.


My next post will address some of the Princess Stalking that we did, but for now, let's focus on Sleeping Beauty.


That wench.


Well, it's not like I didn't bring it on myself.


I stood in an empty line (again, more on that next week), and ushered my girls up to the front.


The Bean whispered something into Sleeping Beauty's ear.

Sleeping Beauty glared at me.


The Bean giggled.


Sleeping Beauty pointed at me.  "I heard you downloaded a copy of my movie.  And that it didn't work in your DVD player."



I had no response to that.  "I have no response to that," I said.


The immortal words of The Alarm raced through my head.


I don't know why, no I don't understand
why you Sold Me Down the River...


I like that song.  Maybe I should download it.


Just kidding RIAA.