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Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Ballet Moms Go Berserk

s always - The Cast of Characters

Me (The Daddy)
The Bean: Age 8
The Butterfly: Age 6
The Darling Wife

Getting into Miss Mary’s ballet class is akin to getting into Yale.  There is a long waitlist.


Last year, The Darling Wife arose herself at 5 AM on a Saturday to sign the girls, The Bean and The Butterfly up for ballet.


She was number 86 in line.


So this year, the DW had a plan.  Camping out.


Insane.  Right?


So this year, she leaves the house at four in the afternoon and arrives at the studio.  She is number 36 in line.


36?


Yes, 36.


She has a laptop computer in tow.  A cooler filled with the basic necessities of the Atkins Diet – some kind of meat and some kind of cheese.  And a stack of books to read.  None of which were written by Yours Truly.


Rrrr.


There are men camping as well.  She will mention to me later that it was sexy for them to have camped out for their daughters.


Great.


The men, it seems, have brought a poker table and beer and cigars.  The other mommies are sipping Chardonnay in Styrofoam coffee cups.


The DW is lacking in wine.  This will not stand.


So she calls my Dad.  “Please bring me some wine,” she says.


Apparently, it’s too much trouble to stop at a store, so he brings her the best French wine he has.


“Thank you,” the DW says.  “This is for your granddaughters,” she reminds him.


This all happens around 7:00.  The mommies are already restless.  They are jockeying for position, quizzing each other as to which classes their precious pumpkins are enrolling in.


The man at the front of the line will have none of it.  “I’m not supposed to say a word,” he says.


The night eventually passes.  A bottle of French wine bites the dust.  Mommy bonding occurs.


And despite the incredible odds, The Bean and The Butterfly land in Miss Mary’s class.


And ballet Dads are sexy…


…still can’t get past that one.