Almost Famous

Our cast of characters:

Me (The Daddy)
The Bean: Age 7
The Butterfly: Age 5
The Darling Wife

Sunday was my birthday and The Darling Wife planned an outing for me to see the Gwinnett Braves - the AAA affiliate of the Atlanta Braves.

Needless to say, I was pretty psyched. I'm a huge baseball fan and what is the worst that could happen bringing two girls under 8 to a minor league baseball game?

Hmmm...

Baseball is not necessarily something The Bean and The Butterfly are into. I think it ranks somewhere below eating vegetables.

However, a baseball stadium is a veritable cornucopia of junk food. A horn-o-plenty of stale popcorn. Handfuls of multicolored cotton candy. The obligatory ice cream sandwich. And some sort of sugar water.

Can you say sugar high? Followed by sugar crash?

Wisely, we stashed them in the row behind us, so they could annoy the elderly couple who still keeps score by hand.

Admittedly, sitting in the sun for 3 hours watching two minor league teams score a total of three runs on maybe 6 hits might be a bit mind numbing for even the most avid of fans.

The Bean and The Butterfly are not the most avid of fans.

"Are you having fun?" The Darling Wife asked The Bean.

"I'm bored," she said and put on pink Kate Hudson sunglasses. "I want to go to Taco Mac."

If she didn't already have my heart, she would have earned it then.

The Butterfly Effect

Me (The Daddy)
The Bean: Age 7
The Butterfly: Age 5
The Darling Wife

So why is she called 'The Butterfly'?

It's called chaos theory.

A butterfly flaps its wings in China setting off a seemingly random chain of events in my house.

Example:

Me: Do you want pizza tonight?

The Bean: Yes!

The Butterfly: Nooooo! (and she runs into the living room and cries on a pillow).

Flap, flap.

Me: But you love pizza

The Butterfly: I hate pizza. Pizza is stupid.

The Next Day -

Me: Do you want pizza tonight?

The Bean: Yes!

The Butterfly: Yes! And can we sing 'Don't Go Back to Rockville' while we wait?

Flap, flap.

Life Imitating Art

Again our cast of characters -

Me (The Daddy)
The Bean: Age 7
The Butterfly: Age 5
The Loving Understanding Wife

About an hour after I'd finished Daddy I Want to go to the Beach, I was supposed to take the Bean and the Butterfly to eat at our favorite (read closest) Mexican restaurant, La Parilla. This usually involves the girls eating cheese dip for dinner; however, recently The Bean has started eating refried beans. Go figure.

In the book, the main character (Lily) won't go to the beach until her sandals, her Mermaid Barbi, her swim goggles, etc are found. By the Daddy. Lily waits and paints her toes while the Daddy looks high and low for Lily's belongings (she doesn't feel the need to help).

Lily is based loosely on The Bean. However, in this instance, it is The Butterfly's turn at bat.

Get this: I announce that it's time to get in the minivan (the convertible is in the shop, I swear.) The Bean is all excited. She dashes to the garage and proceeds to strap herself into her car seat (yeah, they grow up so fast, but it can be very convenient).

But The Butterfly throws a fit. She doesn't like the dress she's wearing. She wants the one that Grammy got her. She shrugs when I ask what it looks like.

So we go through her closet and the laundry room. I don't have a clue what I'm looking for, but somehow we find it.

Get your Crocs, I say. Let's go, I say.

No!

Crocs are stupid. I want my sandals. SANDALS!!!

Stop me if this sounds familiar.

The Butterfly proceeds to sit on the floor and not help. So The Bean (she's come back inside wondering WTF) and I do a room-by-room search for sandals.

We finally find them and go off for a wonderful meal of beans, cheese dip and Margaritas.

And I've determined to only write happy, non-confrontational things from now on.