Thursday, September 24, 2009

Disco WAS his Name-O

As always - The Cast of Characters

Me (The Daddy)
The Bean: Age 7
The Butterfly: Age 5
The Darling Wife
And The Dog Formerly Know As Disco

It is possible, it seems, to name a puppy too quickly.  A proper name should take into account several factors.  Does the name suit the dog?  Does the name suit the family?

Does it make you embarrassed to introduce the dog to manly, Not Stay-At-Home Dads at the bus stop?

Do you really to be guy shouting 'Disco' at the top of your lungs when the dog runs into the street?  "Here Disco!  Here Disco Doggie!" I would shout, checking my manhood at the door.

So proper naming protocol should take so serious thought.  Perhaps not so much thought as Holly Golightly did in Breakfast at Tiffany's when she settled on naming her cat, 'Cat'.  But surely there is a happy medium.

So we're wrestling with two non-Disco names now.  "Brand New Country Star" which is a song on Jimmy Buffett's album, Living and Dying in 3/4 Time so we can call him 'Buffet'.

Or "Beach Music", so we can call him 'Shag'.  Or "Beach Music" and call him 'Buffett'.  The DW likes that and usually gets her way.

For fairly obvious reasons, we're leaning towards 'Buffett' because we don't want to evoke the frightening spectre of Austin Powers.  Plus, at some point, the The Bean and The Butterfly will catch on that they've been calling their Best Friend a euphemism for sex.  The thought makes even me shudder.

'Disco' had been a hard sell on The Butterfly to begin with.  She was lobbying hard for 'Bingo', so any opportunity to rid the family of that name was reminiscent of the Chicago White Sox ill-conceived Disco Demolition night in 1979.  Disco records were actually exploded on the field in between a twilight double-header.  That fiasco went about as well as could be expected.

The Butterfly LOVES Jimmy Buffett songs, so much so that she knows all the words to "Volcano" and "Fins".  We're still working towards "Margaritaville".

Enter The Bean.  Her feet are firmly in the 'Disco' camp.  "Buffett is a stupid name," she counters.  "Disco already has a name.  It's 'Disco'."

I point out that he mostly just lays near the fireplace and sleeps.  In fact, he sleeps a lot.  Maybe we should cut back on the Whiskey in his Water and add more Sugar in his Tea.  He dozed to the funky tunes of The Trammps' "Disco Inferno" and yawned at the Brothers Gibb falsettos in "Stayin' Alive".

I also pointed out that he hasn't had any household accidents ever since I've been calling him 'Buffett'.


Scratch that.


  1. We got our first dog this summer. Before we even decided on a breed, my eight-year-old daughter chose the name, Double Dark Chocolate. Fortunately, the song she made up as she selected the moniker, came with his everyday name... "Double Dark Chocolate, nickname Double," she sang with a bounce in her step and a swing of her hips. Once we actually decided on the dog, we took a family vote over dinner. Double it is. Not to worry, at the first trip to the vet, she was sure to make clear his full name.

    Disco ain't so bad. Just teach him to catch a frisbee and the name can take on an athletic twist, Disco, the disc-catching wonder dog. "Go get it, Disco!" Just a thought.